{"product_id":"author-discount-15-each-small-dog-bad-baby-abigail-welhouse","title":"Author Discount (15 Each) Small Dog \u0026 Bad Baby | Abigail Welhouse","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e HALF MAN, HALF DOG\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eEmpirically speaking, I'm half man, half dog.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHalf asleep on the couch. Half running naked through the trees,\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003escreaming. It's not fair, and you haven't even asked me yet\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003ewhat kind of dog. Could make a big difference, Chihuahua or Doberman.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eI snatch meat from your hand, then read the Wall Street Journal.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eI stay home and howl at the moon. It's a bear, but maybe\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eit'll shift by my birthday. The promise of June and beaches.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eBut no one promised, and if they did, who makes the rules?\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eI use kitchen knives only to cut meat. I grow thankful for opposable thumbs. \u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eI walk around on my hind legs. My back paws are too small for my body.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eI shrink and become softer, yet more muscular. \u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eI bare my teeth thrice daily. Is that enough?\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eI want someone to tell me that I'm a good man.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eI want someone to tell me that I'm a good dog.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"dancing girl press \u0026 studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45604953292847,"sku":null,"price":144.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0719\/1219\/products\/smalldog.png?v=1642549061","url":"https:\/\/dulcetshop.myshopify.com\/products\/author-discount-15-each-small-dog-bad-baby-abigail-welhouse","provider":"dancing girl press \u0026 studio","version":"1.0","type":"link"}