Atoms and Evers | Azia Archer

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 Azia Archer is a mother, writer and maker living in Minnesota. She was born in Corona, California in 1986. In 2012, she founded Dirty Chai Magazine and is the owner of Tiny Flames Press + Shop. You can connect with her online via Twitter @aziaarcher. 





I don’t know how many ways I can say I’m sad.

I keep tucking I’m sad into tiny spaces, like

the space between my mattress and the floor,

your back pocket as I watch you walk away from me.

I don’t know how many times I’m sad has meant

I miss you.

I keep dressing I’m sad in I hate you

and Never talk to me again

but the clothes never seem to fit right.

I’m sad weeps for a chance at another disguise.

I’m sad wilts yellow into the only thing I’m sad knows—

another body.

I don’t know how many arms have held I’m sad.

I keep reminding I’m sad to be soft,

to smile more and remind all the arms

how safe they make her feel, how strong.

Don’t be needy, make it sound

like a compliment,

like something cool,

but, Shh! I’m sad!

Don’t let them know how he broke you.