Bad Baby / Abigail Welhouse

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dancing girl press, 2015


Abigail Welhouse's writing has appeared in The Toast, The Morning News, The Rumpus, Lyre Lyre, and elsewhere. She holds an MFA from the City College of New York, sends Secret Poems at, and would like to talk to you on Twitter: @welhouse.



 "Welhouse’s imagery is lively and she navigates nostalgia without being maudlin, confronting moments of joy and self-doubt in equal measure...cutting as well as lighthearted."


-- Alex Crowley, Boog City


"Raucous, buoyant, and witty...Welhouse’s wit is elevated by keen powers of observation."

-- Eileen Tabios, Galatea Resurrects



                             UNTITLED ART HEIST


First you’ll steal a Picasso

to show your plastic surgeon

where you want your nose.


To celebrate, pop open a bottle of thousand-dollar wine:

gold notes with caviar overtones.


Next you’ll return for "The Scream."

The face your mother always said would stick.


Then you’ll start stealing colors. First blue, then green.

You ban cell phones, then talking.


Everyone who enters the museum is a minotaur.

They find themselves inside the frames.