Ilona Martonfi lives in Montreal, Canada. She is an editor, creative writing teacher and author of three poetry books entitled, Blue Poppy, Black Grass and The Snow Kimono. Forthcoming, Salt Bride, (Inanna Publications 2019). The Tempest (Inanna Publications 2020). Her work has published widely in chapbooks and numerous journals. She is the Artistic Director of The Yellow Door and Visual Arts Centre Readings. Recipient of the QWF 2010 Community Award.
The Ugliest Girl
At that age, you
grow wild irises in your elegy
use watercolours
somewhere, some time
what you might lose again
braids, polkadot ribbons,
you repeat strophe after strophe
in careful self-sculpting
it is a naked thing
and then the rains come.
“Who did you love, or lose?”
No one hears. And you feel
in every stone. Every note.
Graft onto a childhood
everyday family life
your long, ungiving silences
deciding to move on
“I’m sorry,” you say,
choose ugliness
see the grey streets
and bombed-out homes
mirrored in chalk hills
it’s not ordinary now:
don’t let it become ordinary.
Recurring dream in which
your mother and you sit in a cellar
to unremember
summer flowers crying
shot in black and white
you wait for. Fourth grade
oak door, a room
teacher has his lisp,
a motion picture
running on the wall.
Teacher’s hands.