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Ghazal Made of Ashes
In middle school my friends were bleach-blonde and tan like me. With fresh-baked shades they
lined up beside me like paint swatches against a wall. So proud. It was a slow burn
Hot comb rested atop glowing red rings in auntie’s kitchen & I sat at the edge in awe.
With hair too thin, I watched her press roots and grease edges. Sweet smell of a slow burn.
One Sunday night, I threw my legs up in the back of his truck. Supposed to be at church
but knew my god resides between my thighs. Embers inside a slow burn.
Boys told me I was too quiet. Too bony. Pretty, but they only dated white girls.
Every day in the mirror I shaped my nose between fingertips. Self-hate a slow burn.
I used the same knife to peel brown skin from potatoes before dinner.
Back & forth, back & forth. Suicide’s shadow on my wrist—I can still feel the slow burn.
Carefully, I comb knots from baby’s hair each morning. I kiss precious curls just
Like the momma of a little brown girl. How do I save her from the slow burn?